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bloodsucker

That was the word on the back of the dude's tee-shirt I noticed while I was unicycling in Tompkins Sq. Park this evening. Shades, curly, dark, hair, lots of leather, silver trinkets, tats of course. Living proof that vampires do exist. Although I believe the true vampires are the NYU eunochs with their shirts that say "NYU." (Smile).


Lots of junkies snoozing peacefully. And groups of young girls with various fruity-colored hair. Very few instances of mico-violence today. Thank God. I'm on high alert. I definitely feel that micro-violence from cunts can seriously cause PTSD, I am living proof that it can. The trick is to be non-reactive. It's New York. I probably really, really need to get out.


Bought myself some delicious cheesecake from Eileen's for my birthday tomorrow. Yay. My good friend Annelies from the Netherlands will be joining me. I will be putting one candle in mine. Only one. Annelies is an extreme proponent of various conspiracy theories. She was also an adamant supporter of Trump and was formerly espousing various hair-brained theories (Re: Hilary Clinton and the "demoncrats" are ardent blood-sucking, Satanists, etc.). We don't discuss politics. Interesting that my (now former) room mate from MA. was also an ardent Trump supporter and most of his news he gets from Tucker Carson and the FOX News camp. We never discussed politics while he lived here either. His excuse was that he had problems actually reading, so he listens to lots of news online. His excuse...


How can people be so ignorant? Trump is the worst president ever. Did nothing for four years but basically jerk off. And half the country loves him to be the point of a near insurrection after his clearly lost. This is the stuff of science fiction. Oh America I don't recognize you anymore.


It suddenly dawned on me that a "friend" of mine who has encountered serious health issues no longer shows any kind of gratitude. I believe all of her gratitude has been replaced by the attitude of "poor me--I am disabled." I shouldn't be standing in judgement but the paradox of the change in the person (a stalwart "Yankee type") is obvious. How sad that health and suffering can mark such a change in some people, that they become overt assholes, while other people fight very hard to maintain a positive attitude. I hope and pray that if I encounter such issues that I somehow manage to stay in the latter group! I wonder if economics play a part? Interesting because the asshole I'm speaking of is considerably well off, while the acquaintance (who I believe is poor, living in a tiny crackerbox of a hole-in-the-wall apartment in the East Village) works hard to maintain a positive attitude. The asshole owns a beautiful in the suburbs. Gender herein is a non-issue; though both of these individuals are female.


Another friend I met on the street today warned me to prepare for days of no electrical power. He said the grid would soon be affected throughout the U.S. with periods of no electricity lasting for periods of up to a week. I hope and pray this is just hogwash but it is very likely it could happen. Just look at all the rampant ransomware attacks the past few months. This is truly a crime. While politicians fight over theories, politics and lost elections--here we have a perfect example of what should have been going on in Washington. Research and work around the clock to keep our infrastructure safe, our homeland secure, instead of in-fighting, name-calling, election fraud claims, voting recounts. The real things, the valuable things are not being maintained. We will pay for it. I am reflecting on how many people will die of over-heating alone if the grid goes down--out West, Arizona, Florida, etc. devoid of air conditioning. Hello Third World nightmare. Land of the free, home of the brave, yada yada.


Finally also in the park tonight, I noticed a a huge tree had crashed down just a few feet from where I encountered an amazing blues guitarist playing some of the best music, for free two days ago. Almost the exact same spot! What does this portend? Some sort of a metaphor for nature striking back I fear. But isn't she already as the West burns?


My bro in the Tucson (also a musician, plays the trumpet--the music got him through 10 years of doing time in prison for being a big coke dealer in the 90's) yesterday on the phone; describing seeing Tina Turner in Iowa back during her Private Dancer tour. He recalled she was "Like a lioness in heat." That about says it all!


I am realizing how I only feel safe when I am doing music and listening to my own sweet voice singing and recording. Interesting that my very own art can provide me with a great place of solace and a sanctuary from the weary, micro-violent, constantly suffering world of cunts, sex and people in general. This isn't to say that I myself am bewitched by the worlds of sex, alcohol, cannabis and movie-watching to such an extreme degree that it probably distracts me terribly from what I SHOULD be doing--i.e., following the path of my Soul! Help me dear Higher Power, to please find a balance--if not the true way of my Soul. God lives in music, in art. The ego and the devil, I do believe dwell in too many people in the places devoid of art. I have definitely lived here much too long. New York, the cunt capital of the world. Thank God for the softening, soul nurturing power of music--AND massage. Yes, massage, both giving and receiving--is truly the way back to the heart. Art, heart, Soul, HOLE! You choose!


That's all she wrote. On to 67 beeeeaaatch! LOL.

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