July 1, 2021
Intensely Rough Day
Funny, it started out Ok. Then I became overwhelmed during my CUBASE 11 "lesson" (I prefer to call my music production teacher my "mentor"). I like to call our lessons collaborations, but make no mistake, this app is so advanced that without my engineer I would be sitting with my thumb up my a-- trying to figure out how to make music on it! This "Lanes" thing is the biggest learning bitch ever! I am getting better but the scary thing is my mentor told me after the lesson that my homework was to make some music, any music—and have FUN doing it. OMG Sweet Jezus what a wake up call! How the hell did I loose that? And can I get it back?!?
Before that I had "F" a client whose been coming for a few months now and I really, really feel the need to ask him to stop coming. I am enjoying the session way too much and I don't think it's good for my Soul to be having this much fun in my massage work. Hmm...am I sensing a pattern here? Maybe I'm enjoying my addiction too much?! The paradox is after a heavenly massage session (such as that) I go out on the street and damn! It’s damn ROUGH out there brother! Damn Rough!
Later, coming out of the Key Foods (the cunt behind the register refused to even assist me in bagging 4 or 5 items that came out to $27 bucks--and the SNAP card is all used up for the month), another cunt stops right in the exit leading outside to read her fucking phone. REALLY? "Bump" I went and pushed IT out outta the way with my stomach--gently of course. I mean, they ARE the weaker sex. The dumber one too. Why did God make women? Can someone please tell me? For the same reason he created NYU Eunochs (asexual jock types)! To teach us elders tolerate the more hideous aspects of humanity.
Later I watched "TINY" a thoroughly depressing film by Mary Ellen Marks about the life (duh, really "anti-life") of one of her favorite models. In the last 10 minutes of the film we meet one of Tiny’s 10 children, a youngish woman in her late teens who in a hospital bed brain dead from an overdose. Typically light fair for an average evening in the East Village! There there, after the always exciting street-life (drunken cunts screaming!) you have real life horror. Here's to summer in the city!
Oh and during this extremely entertaining, riveting but thoroughly depressing film I had a client call. I can only say that this negro sounded like a real “cracker from Jamaica.” He wanted to know what sensual massage was? That after asking me if I was Chinese? And where was I from? I hung up on it. Stupidity; the mental-effluvia version of rats downtown. No, excuse me. Rats are smarter.
Time to say the Serenity Prayer here. "Higher Power, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (people and their overt or subtle ignorance, mindlessness and shit for brains stupidity), the courage to change the things I can (my own behavior--I just need to chill and go with the flow and remember all the things I have to be grateful for even when I'm having one of THOSE nights. Hm, maybe it wasn't such a good idea NOT to have my cannabis drops before my music lesson? Is it just me or does being slightly stoned take the edge off this oh-so-hard-core-city-living) and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
Oh, and please God help me to rediscover the JOY of music..I seem to be too bogged down currently by a case of over-population suffocation! (This is when you walk outside and the streets are filled LITERALLY with way, way too much human refuse.)
PS. Also saw my neighbor whose lover is in the hospital from getting the Moderna vaccine. He has permanent nerve damage and is finally learning to walk again. And this guy was one worked out bodybuilder type. Oh Sweet Jesus. I just got tested again to see if my antibodies are staying. If they are, no way am I subjecting myself to that bloody vaccine. If my antibodies disappear I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Vaccination should NOT be mandatory.
I would LOVE to see some solid evidence that antibodies disappear. No, really--hard core facts! That is what is and has been missing lately in American society--especially the past decade. Just the facts M'am, just the facts