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EMAIL to a young poet

Updated: Aug 3

I'm not sure why but I had to post this very strong-willed email I wrote to a dear songwriter, poet-friend during the holidays in 2020. It reminds me how much wisdom I have and how I suffer. These are twin indisputable facts of my life in New York. Joy & pain. Not complaining, just stating a fact. Of course, this email is way too long. It's the writer in me... (continued)

Dec. 21, 2020 or so...


Dear Chubracabra;


"I'm SLOWLY getting to know, express, value, and HONOR my own musical self again. S L O W L Y. The less distractions musically I have the better, life is distracting enough! i.e., watching movies, men, massage, and exercising enough to keep myself looking 50 something instead of 4 years from 70! Then a production lesson with Erik LOL! This isn't to say VACANT LOT will be our last. Hopefully, there will be more to come!!!!! This is actually what I was inferring in our last text convo. You claim to now be able to read chords, so play your keyboard, and notate the chords with all your melodies. DIY. And try to put the shit into BIAB...that way E has more to work with.

Are you bringing your keyboard with you? If not just work on the 3 when you return. I'm sure you will be inspired to write in Spanish. Can't wait to hear! Spanish is such a lovely, sensual, romantic language, unlike our militaristic English with its Germanic roots! It will be good practice for you...I wouldn't worry about expediting the process. You are not a machine. This isn't an assembly line. Tori Amos wrote NI in two weeks. Before that, she had major MAJOR bouts of shooting blanks. The muses cannot be coerced into entering our rooms. They are NOT automakers! It's THEIR time, not ours. But often they come WHEN we say "Okay, there's free time and space now. Please sing to me!" : ). They come when we gently ask. GENTLY. And Tori is a musical freak/Goddess. We on the other hand are mere mortals. I know you are going to have a fabulous time and it may even be life-changing. Please FULLY EMBRACE that hot-blooded Latin in you and try to leave the preconceived image of you as a middle-class WASP/ROCKER behind. You are unique in your beauty and talent. EMBRACE the uniqueness. DIG INTO YOUR ROOTS! Don't try to pigeonhole yourself into a category. Don't try to be something you THINK you should be. JUST BE YOU! Didn't somebody write a song about "YOU'RE DIVINE?" I believe that was you. Whatever happened to that one? My Christmas was quiet, quiet quiet. Some melancholia but basically loving myself and treasuring my gifts.

Lot's of bad client interactions. This holiday season seems to have brought out the worst in needy, clingy, and dishonest men. They are a pestilence. Like terrorist attacks. Oh, the power of the all sacred phallus to move men to abhorrent behavioral tendencies devoid of soul or integrity! From burning lust/passion to ashes and nothingness once again. If it's not a fantasy, it's a hurtful power trip. I give up. When it works you get your money and your honey and the world's a heavenly place. When it doesn't work it's a horror movie...kinda like surfing. Thank God for the stars, trees, myself, Cinnamon, you, and a few close friends I have. The pandemic seems to be pushing people into acting out--not their best selves. The world needs our song, my friendly collaborator! Both English and Spanish versions. (Editor's note: our song KEEPING DISTANCE disappeared into the black hole of unknown songs; it was a gorgeous song we wrote about the pandemic and not being able to touch when saying goodbye to a loved one. A song about eternal love...obviously too deep and heartfelt for the music business-which is basically made up of alien life forms.) Hopefully, we will touch base soon. I have so many, many melodic ideas--more than a year's worth--to share with you. YOU MUST WATCH "Scare Me" "His House" and finally "Possessor" OMG. Some of the best three horror movies I swear I have ever seen. The Pandemic really seems to be inspiring shadows in many many film folks. A bizarre kind of evolution. Pay attention to the songs they sing in SCARE ME. OM friggin' Christ. Amazingly dark and tantalizing like nothing I've seen. Echos of our "Suspiria" experience. hugs, Saintorr

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