Using people as objects--the right and the wrong way

Here are my do's and don't of bodywork according to me, saintorrI

I just had a revealing discussion with a friend. I was telling him about the rude client who called me up last night, wanting to book, wished me a Happy Birthday, and then turned around and booked with someone else. My friend maintained this position. “You are a sex worker and they are paying so you can’t expect them to be nice.”

My reaction to his comment was immediate and I had a burning desire to correct him. I will share my thoughts and feelings below;

Number one; I am not a sex worker, I am a masseur, a massage therapist, and a healer. That sex is involved in my service is just one aspect of my business. KNOW that I am under no obligation to provide you with sex. For you to expect that is way above my pay grade. It's a choice on my part. Understand?

Number two; Because someone is paying money doesn’t give them the right to be rude, or act in an amoral manner. To take my time discussing a possible booking, wish me a Happy birthday and then book with someone else is just plain back-handed assholism, i.e., rude micro-violent behavior (not unlike a terrorist attack). The guy was begging to be blocked and he got it.

I don’t ask a lot from clients. Just the teeny-weeniest bit of respect. Yes, I do feel I’m entitled to this. If I don’t get it from you, I don't want to work on you. There is enough disrespect on the streets and among all social interactions right now. I certainly don't need this from someone I'm interacting physically & intimately with for any amount of time. I don't give a fuck if you are Jeff Bezos. If you can't give me respect and a sense of cordiality, please be assured I am not the masseur for you. Your money does not entitle you to be mean and nasty. Not on my watch.

My friend said he understood my point and thanked me for my clarity.

Yes, clients “use me as an object” That’s Okay. I agree to be used. But the way I approach M4M massage business is that it’s a kind of Japanese Tea Ceremony; meaning there is a way to behave. The way involves being civilized and respectful; along with good hygiene. If this isn’t part of the way you behave toward the masseurs you hire, don't call me. I am happy to be your masseur and your “object.” But I insist on compassion and respect. Enough said. Amen.

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