2-1-24 from "Spiritual Gangsters" podcast

Listened to an amazing recorded share on sobriety and recovery via "Spiritual Gangsters" way too early this AM. Speaker's name was Babe K and what a character! Rather "what strength of character" at 73. Talk about a life lived. Wow.

Kinda makes me a bit sad thinking I'm a real "half-measures" type of guy ; (. Or maybe a little bit of recovery is better than none at all?

On top of that--comes the self-realization on how very very very difficult it is for me to be vulnerable! And isn't actively avoiding emotional intimacy with men the cornerstone of the standard addict's behavior/personality compared to non-addictive "normal" people. (What are those????!!!) Then again, isn't the sheer act of letting strange men into my sacred space for years and years and touching them intimately/physically the ultimate act of being humanly vulnerable in this my job? i.e., doing massage? Food for reflection. Much too intense for 2-1-24 7:31 AM BLOG ENTRY LOL.

steve o

nycmasseur dot com