1-19-26

First let me say--I'm sad I don't have any clients today--on the Great One's Birthday--you'd think SOMEONE would have the day off and want a fabulous massage. It's too cold. There's too many of us offering massages (or fake massages with porn bodies). So I'm having a beer: Yeah I know it's kinda early for that but I'll probably have two. I have already jerked off. I had a dopamine crave: I got my fix myself...mesmerized by porn! And didn't have to pay for it: well, only in terms of the time I spent LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT ONE LOL~ in order to feel the orgasm. When you got to release: you gotta release.

There's nothing more fabulous than a great massage session with mutual release and also my chance to give/create healing energy on the client. Sacral chakra energy, for often in my work: I am a pleasure shaman! : ). If that's not happening, then I go into professional message mode.

And there's nothing worse than having a client call and infer they are going to book and then they don't. Well, it's worse when they book and don't show. That's the ultimate worst. Well, now let me amend that. The ultimate worst would be working on a thief or a killer. Duuh. Hope not. The best clients book and come on the same day. When there's no clients, it feels unempowering and can really depress me. So I try to change focus and melt/shift into creative activities, (or side activities gym or cannabis. Exercise, especially dancing is great for self-creating endorphins. I danced on the roof last night...and easy 40 minutes of footwork, battements and shadow-boxing. Before I danced I had a beer and shoveled the snow so I could so my easy-peasy footwork.

Yesterday I went to the green market on the edge of Tompkins Square Park and bought my delicious organic eggs. Shit. Fucker wanted $10 bucks and not 3 weeks ago they were $8.00. Fucking shiesty. I complained to the guy and he just smirked. Last time I buy eggs from that S.O.B.

I have a friend who lives in Minneapolis.

My friend was told by the manager of the hotel where he lives that several ICE agents who live in the hotel too, frequently come in drunk, high or in a stupor. They probably hate their jobs and their lives and themselves for what they are doing: so they are numbing out as a way to deal. I believe a certain amount of numbing (and or creative denial as I call it) can be healthy. Especially when living in a stressful situation. My friend is living in an occupied city--occupied by our own soldiers and ICE men. As if Minneapolis was a conquered city. We are on the verge of living under martial law. How can so many of my fellow Americans support such a shit head? Bogles the mind.

Pedro made great empanadas and tacos. Not a few days ago, he was just chirping on about all the great changes coming to the neighborhood. My friend was on his way to Pedro's restaurant/stand to buy two of his delicious tacos. When he got there, no Pedro. There was a sign "It can happen to you." Pedro was picked up by ICE and deported back to Mexico. So sad. Yeah it's like a little thing to lose the integrity of good food from Mexico. But here we are--we've lost it. and our American culture is the worse for it.

So the plan is to work on my FABULOUS FAGGOTRY collection of short stories. Then gym. Maybe I'll have a client. If I not. se la vie.