Oops. Here I go again, I'm taking a break from advice about healing. Here I go again venting about men. Gold and shadow, WE are all gold and shadow. Please take my humble opinions with a grain of salt...
Here are a few "new client" concerns*
*Spoiler alert these questions are major "red lights" that the caller isn't going to book.
Caller; "I've never had a massage by a man before-how does it work? What can I expect?"
Me; "You book, show up, and lie on the table." Massage is an experience, not a scripted performance.
Caller; "Do you offer student discounts?"
Me; Oops there I go, offering a discount. And what happens? The "student" begins a whole litany of aimless questions. Talk about "don't look a gift horse in the mouth." Most younger men are not in pain while the majority of men of a certain age know so well how the magic of massage take away their pain and enhance their longevity. Further spoiler alert, many non-English speaking callers won't know what the above phrase ("Gift-horse, not longevity) even means. If I offer you a discount, the proper thing to do is show some gratitude. Students--take note.
Caller; "Can you send me a pic of your cock?"
Me; "No, it's beyond my pay grade." (or send a photo of the reddest, cockiest Rooster in the barnyard. *Further spoiler alert; don't "be funny" with callers. This is an enormous turn off for many "first-times" and "nervous nellies." Guys lighten up. It's massage! Yippie!
Oh the endless variety! If I had a dollar for every one of the "red light" questions (no pun intended--"Is my light on? That means I am available!), I could retire a rich ole' Sugar Daddy. LOL. It occurred to me today (doing this blog check-in) that when I have a bunch of these calls at once (they usually happen in groups of 3 or 4 usually around 9 PM or later and the callers tend to be extremely nervous and anxious), their anxiety is probably based on 1) the fantasy of fucking a hot man or 2) the fantasy of NOT fucking a hot man. There is no solution. Doing M4M massage is very much like surfing. Ride the beautiful big waves, if they don't come, ride the not-so big, beautiful waves. Watch out for sharks and be aware that unlike surfing, in the M4M massage business, having rational conversations ("What's up Bro?") with other practitioners is very seldom an option. Not at this level of competition, self-shaming homophobia and (sadly) the pervasive absence of heart-chakra feelings/communication AND DENIAL that comes within the territory of the M4M massage world. I also understand that for the vast majority of men, they simply WANT A GREAT SERVICE! My issues with this work are not their issues and I am very happy NOT TALKING when I'm doing a massage. I like to practice sharing my issues with my therapist. But this is a blog. This is all about words, here and now as I write this. I rule. You read. M4M massage is it's own animal. And it's a "man thing." When it comes to sex and intimacy most men (myself included) are almost autistically unable to communicate about their dicks. We just love the "rush!" It's simple.
Here is where I take a step back and remind myself that I know so much about men and massage--so much so that it's almost too much. And I must practice patience with non-experienced men. Maybe the non-communication dichotomy is because of the nature of dick. Dick is an "end result" experience/process. Yup. Most males can't put it into words. And don't want to. Hell, when I'm enjoying it the last thing I want or need is to stop and analyze! I just want to experience. (Unabashed and proud hedonist here). I do believe this is changing with the new generation of sexual and gender-fluid boy children. (Shoot me for using the "boy"word. Hope that survives the Republican urge to bluster, fear, regress and censor. Amerika, how I love thee! Land of the free, home of the guns...
Dear new guys; Read My lips; this is ABOUT MASSAGE; NOT PENETRATION.
*Forget your expectations; trust that one man in a thousand (me) can and will give you a great massage (i.e., let Go and Let God is the key I believe to happiness). When you don't know, just accept that you don't know and give it to God. He knows, well ifen HE is there LOL).