8-6-24 Day #3 no alcohol;

I”m so proud of myself. Slightly climbing the walls too.

Freak #1; booked and no show. Blocked. 

Freak #2; “I’m a student with a really nice body and my GF is out of town tonight, sorry for the late notice but can you come to me? All I can afford is $75 and I’m downtown in Battery Park." Blocked.

Freak #3; (On Adam4Adam) "I need a hand job." Me; "Why don't you put it in a blender and press the ON button?" Block.

The good thing about the cockroach calls is, that means I'm possible entering a cycle of interest and work...which means income. Yay!

I’m going to write a short story about shit. That’s pretty much the metaphor for this time now…

rat shit, human shit, shit on the street, shit from judgmental friends, shit from the 91 year old 

client (thank God she doesn’t need HELP with her shit). Hmm. Yup, that about sums up this time right now. Funny how beer makes you not see shit so acutely, not feel it all around you.

Shit shit and more shit. Shit and sobriety. Where’s God in all this? Maybe he’s shit too? Or some fantasy invented by frightened cavemen who were afraid of the dark...

Time for the roof top; looks like 2 days of rain coming up. More shit.

I found this really strong cannabis which I will attempt to go to the cannabis store and buy more of. Boy was it a nice, thick high!

Feeling restless, doing some EFT (tapping) on my dick. “Even though I see and feel shit all around me, I love and accept myself how I am this moment right now…”

“Even though my dick and my heart are lonely, so lonely; I love and accept myself as I am right now…"

No beer; all in the name of trying to tone up my hidden six-pack (smile).

Amen

Healthy shit…