Step Two
"Came to believe that a Power greater than
ourselves could restore us to sanity." BRB p. 130
Our parents had been our gods. This is normal for
children because parents are their primary
support system.
As adults, many of us had not progressed past this
stage of growth, no matter how far away we
moved. We had believed everything they said for
so long that we continued to internalize their
negativity and messages without even being
around them. Their voices were inside us.
Concerning religious beliefs, some of our families
had no tolerance for anything except their
religious belief system. Others of us may have
been told that only weakminded people believe in
a Higher Power.
In recovery, when many of us seek to identify a
Higher Power, we may be confused by these
intolerant and abusive viewpoints. To find clarity,
we give ourselves permission to step away from
those old ideas, even about what the word God
means. Many of us may start by seeing our ACA
family as the "something greater than ourselves."
This is the beginning of our search for spiritual
freedom. It may seem foreign at first, because this
wouldn't have been allowed in our families.
But we're on a journey. We try things out and see
what works for us. We notice we have an inner
compass, and we start to follow it fearlessly.
With my therapist today, we have planned on having an E.M.D.R. session specifically addressing my sexual abuse encounter with my Mother...The goal here I believe would be to "create the schema" or building the specific scenario of the experience, note my feelings; AND THEN note how I would prefer to choose to feel as a result of "reliving the schema" of the experience.
I am about ready to go up on the roof and try this with my bi-lateral pulse stimulation machine...I'll let you know results...meanwhile I made a new check-in yesterday...see next blog post from July 25, 2023...