Getting a Grip on Alcohol! 1-27-27

1-27-26

Was very fortunate to have a repeat client--thank you P--yesterday! Very hot.

And my returnee client from pre-COVID days. Whew. That truly headed toward a bottom scene. His sacral chakra energy is sooooo damn strong and hot. Must be the Italian in him! Mangia! Thank you God of M4M massage! LOL.

Was fortunate to have acquired Final Cut Pro, Traktor 4 Pro (DJ mixing program) and Photoshop. Now I can again manipulate my own images. 

Was thinking I need to set down and write a history of my drinking. That would be rich!

Did I mention one of the hottest lovers I have is 76. DAMN! AGE is truly just a number. The sensuality of this partner, the heat--is so sooo far beyond hot NYU arrogant jock-neuter cunts (and the good old straight boys' clubs) at the gym--it's not even funny. And interesting, my partner has no body so to speak...doesn't work out at all...he's almost like a fragile little waif or an ancient accountant! Well, the leather cock-ring helps LOL! I prefer rubber or latex (?) snapping those leather rings with hair on the balls is no easy task. Rather just "slip it over and on" thank you very much.

In awe of the art of Caravaggio. What a master. What a supreme example of the gold and shadow working through an artist. Baroque period. The eye, the skill and the murderous impulses. I think all creatives have the tendency to act out big time. One just needs to exercise self-control. Easier said than done when biking on the streets of New York and you're constantly running into stupid cunts. Really. I've noticed a new level of desperation in the deliveristas. This is dangerous. Either they just got off the boat or their co-horts told them--hey come join us and make easy money. It must be hard. I empathize. But the danger all (some very young), reckless (and some VERY BIG) and too fast bikers pose to everyone is extremely real. I must be aware of a new level of vulnerability with biking being a part of my life. Not quite ready to quit though yet: or will I ever...it's such a lovely holistic exercise. Functional training at it's best. Biking for groceries>>>>LOL.

I think I've reached a watermark in my drinking. No booze during the week and during the weekend WEEEEE! : ). Well, that still doesn't address what to do when I buy a bottle of my beloved absinthe (if it's in the house it's so easy to do every figgin' day--and enjoy it!) Also the shochu (Japanese spirits made from sweet potatoes) which I've been longing to taste again. 

I had a sixer of my 6 point Resin and this weekend and didn't really enjoy it, strangely I think because by not drinking for 4 days prior to the weekend, I sort of "slayed the dragon" of craving. 

One day at a time. I'm grateful to figure out that putting a lid on my boozing will alleviate chances of me coming down with cirrhosis of the liver. Interesting that just now I'm catching the surge in my drinking and seeing that part of it was turning 71 last July and not really having a therapist to help me monitor the shit. And yes I got into a headspace of "Fuck it all." Very dangerous place to be at 71 'cause you are already dealing with the severe degradation of the aging body. You certainly don't need the tare-down effect of alcohol along with that! The booze keeps you from bouncing back!

But here's a partial solution: during the week when I feel the urge to booze--EXERCISE instead! Ha...so simple. I'm blessed that I caught myself this final time around. Thanks Higher Power. 

Am busy offering my support to a great friend I have living in hell now--yes, Minneapolis...such a lovely city: I'm so sad the Feds are punishing it. BAN ICE NOW! You couldn't ask for a nicer place to live pre-ICE that is, well except for the winters. And like many places, the suburban areas are all but void of queens and the gay vibe. Oye.

Let me see if I can go back to sleep now...almost 5 am and I have PT today and little else. Must motivate myself to get my short story collection "Fabulous Faggotry" onto Am Dig Kindle; then my novel, then do audio books of both projects. Here again, Fuck-it-all syndrome comes into play like that little devil on my shoulder. Fuck-it-all and his bestie little bro "Why bother?"

I have very little faith in Substack...it's more of a whorey kind of writer's cattle market...read ME  !!!Subscribe to ME ME ME ME!!!! Some of the content is worthy and interesting but the rich bitches re-designing their kitchens. Give me a break. Or retards offering living advice. Fuck off.

New apps to learn. MUST MUST MUST get to filling out these apartment rental forms and Medicaid application for 2026 too! Help me God...

night y'all!