First let me say--I'm sad I don't have any clients today--on the Great One's Birthday--you'd think SOMEONE would have the day off and want a fabulous massage. It's too cold. There's too many of us offering massages (or fake massages with porn bodies). So I'm having a beer: Yeah I know it's kinda early for that but I'll probably have two. I have already jerked off. I had a dopamine crave: I got my fix myself...mesmerized by porn! And didn't have to pay for it: well, only in t

Please come for a massage: late night special rates NOW, i.e., from 10 PM to 12 Midnight I will work on you for 1 hour (in-call). What the hell are you waiting for?

When you are not on your phone or jerking off LOL. Dancer from the Dance: Underworld by Don DeLillo This is another quote from T.M. She said she did not think much of modern fiction writers who reference their own lives instead of inventing new material, and she used to tell her creative writing students, "I don't want to hear about your little life, OK?" On this I heartily disagree as one of my favorite quotes is by Gide "Out of yourself--create." If I take all my experience

1-4-26 I heartily affirm that my powers of resilience are stronger in me: than my tendencies toward self-drama, self-immolation and suicidal ideation. Amen. "We die. That may be the meaning of life. But we do language. That may be the measure of our lives." Toni Morrison Double amen!

I think I felt in a small way that I got my groove back today when I sat down and I wrote for just like an hour: then proceeded to begin to assemble my final collection of short stories for Digital Kindle (suddenly their app is very user friendly). I had secretly hoped that I would create a buzz on Substack. Which I'm seeing is just another doomed social media whore feeding frenzy site: Then I felt weird, like why do I even bother with this? Because--I answer myself, people n

a Perfect World...Just discovered this; so deep and rich....12-22-25

Here is my second favorite hymn (with humanistic overtones), a most lovely prayer: also great when you just need to massage your mind with beauty and need a good cry. Thank you Eric Whitacre. The cell phones and even the movies have become stale. It's like my Soul is looking for something deeper and I see clearly that this mass hypnosis (AI, news addiction, etc.) is not enough infact too much automatic, over indulgence will make you feel off and unwell (well, I did download P

It started with a slight shortness of breath last Sat. and by Sun. I was on my ass in bed. Now four days later I'm well on the road to recovery. This was scary--almost E.R. material! You know the feeling when your mind goes there "Oh who's going to feed the cat, shall I call an ambulance? Is it that bad???!!!!! Ha ha. I recall when I had my heart incident back in 2009 (on 9-11) of course and I casually rode my bike over the ER of the old Mt. Sinai (now a condo) without a care

The challenge in difficult times to align oneself with beauty; whether it be a visit to a special place OR to listen to a favorite piece of music. These oh so simple things have the miraculous power to uplift and inspire. And they are free. Below is one of my favorite hymns, it's pure beauty and sensuality never cease to bring tears to my eyes and inspire heavenly thoughts. Thank you Philip Stopford.

11-14-25 & 11-15-25 The moon is waning! Wanted to get wasted tonight; so much insurance frustration!!!!!! But maintained sobriety... Talk about ambiguity!!!!!! I hate it…sticking up for myself and NOT over-sharing—just asking for clarity. More important that ever to be your own advocate as a senior! Then feeling like I’m being raped every time these so-called support service people apologize--it's like a dagger in my heart--the sheer stress they imbue by posturing being nice!

“Threads of Mist and Fog” From Dreams to be Buried In By God Body Disconnect It's my last night at TSI's Miele's Respite on the Creedmor State Psychiatric Hospital campus--really more of a huge park/sanctuary/reserve far out and deep within the outer reachers of Queens. The track above is a great ending score to my stay today,11-1-25. My short story started out "The Ghost of Creedmor" then became "The Ghosts of Creedmor" and finally I reached a subconscious to conscious rev

I was blessed today to work on a friend of a friend who is undergoing chemo in his fight against pancreatic cancer. It was refreshing to...

Being of a certain age I find the state of hardness when mutually releasing can be contingent on many factors. As a senior, my tool tends...

https://books2read.com/u/mlQZA9 "Bisexual Love" is about a fat, killer-clown obsessed with a hot couple he sees at the video rental...