And how a veteran of many M4M massage years (moi) copes;
Interesting that of all nights of the year to pull a no-show one
Mr. "Jay" at 646-570-4123
texted me to book last night (Christmas eve) around 9:30 PM. I should have known it was a fake, but the thought of making money overcame me just as I was leaving to go to X-mas mass at St. Joseph's in the West Village (my friend and co-worker was singing in a world class performance during this special 10 PM mass). Of course I fell for the bait, thinking this was a repeat client--I was wrong; it was nothing; I missed the mass. I was had! No show. Well, the nice things about no-show clients is; they can only do a no-show once and BANG they are blocked. This one was particularly sad and vicious in that Miss Thang (or Mr. Thang : ) choose this particular night of the year to ghost me. Unlike other victims of crimes (yes this is a crime in my book)--where the victims must in part relive their awful experiences (a murder, rape, robbery, etc) again and again through dealing with the police and the court system (unless of course you are in Bragg's "Dodge City" where any crimes involving $1000 or less are not even REGISTERED in the court system--thank you Bragg for making my city a lawless cesspool). It must be my own inner homophobia that somehow tries to rationalize the actions of no-shows as merely inconvenient (like terrorist attacks) they DO happen indeed and as a M4M masseur I have little or no recourse except to block the individual. I have spent countless hours in my long and illustrious career as a "flesh pounder" (note not Flesh Peddler : ) trying to analyze exactly why a man (yes man) does this. I have come up with various answers, jealously, a play of power, boredom, demonic possession and yes homophobia--but the gist is-it happens occasionally and given my powerlessness (besides publicly publishing the numbers herein the hopes that other masseurs might be saved from the nefarious no-show, highly unlikely given the rather anonymous and non-popularity of this block--again, a symptom of the M4M massage world where denial rules all) maybe I just ponder it's much ado about nothing. Forgive, block and move on to the next, for it is a business loss; you were expecting to work and a nice wad of cash to be had; but instead your time was wasted and you were disappointed. Move on girl, move on.
That's my mantra.
It's interesting though in the scheme of most crimes that if you follow the money you will usually find a motive. If there's no money--then it's usually just a crime of sadism. The caller must sit home and chuckle to himself (or herself) when he received my text "You sick, twisted cunt, etc, etc., I am blocking you, do not contact me again..." yada. Or if I'm busy I will just block them. They can chuckle over their joke (and my anger) but they will only be able to chuckle once. My anger will pass, a business loss will be absorbed and my ad will continue to pull in other clients who will show up, are sweet and ready and willing to accept all the gifts of have to give. No show are just one type of problem, along the same lines as "the interviewer client" (usually young, that's the client who insists on talking to me in person and filling me in on what he is looking for--as if I could be surprised) and/or the discount client (do you offer any gratuities?). No, I'm a low-income senior and my rate is my rate (unless you are a bodybuilder--which hardly ever happens--they pretty much only want other bodybuilders and the steroid addiction keeps them from feeling pain), and then there's the stalking client. Yes they do get past my blocked call function and can still leave a message (in my years of experience as of now I have only one of those and he can't seem to get it that I will never work on him again. Sometimes still he calls 3 to 4 times a day and asks the same question in a robotic voice "Are you available for a massage?" I won't give him the satisfaction of an reason why I won't work on him--he knows but he just can't get it that he is wasting his time--he needs therapy--end of story (Latin, DL, major inner conflict there--doesn't take a rocket scientist, etc.). So "Pop pop fizz fizz" block block and onward and upward to those who appreciate loving and healing hands. Yup. Gotta love the game. If you stop loving it, there's always companion care--probably the fastest growing field in our society. That takes tons of heart and patience. No I don't do wheelchairs and no heavy lifting. Whatever.
So this is where I am. And what I do--I give light. Demons, like pernicious influences, bad entities and hungry ghosts--are attracted to my light. Like horny men, lonely men, men in pain. I serve all and in serving all I worship and honor the highest in my self which is giving unselfishly and fully. It has taking me years to acknowledge this--my gift as a beautiful thing and as a blessing; and not as a curse or something to be ashamed of. Call it the wisdom of growing older...me. For who can do this healing hands & body work -- on this somatic level? Only those who can truly be unselfish and open their hearts. Hail Mary--you be full o' grace girl--just plain full of grace : ). Amen.
PS. And here's a shout out to those brace souls who venture into the land of Recovery without Room Service; as opposed to all those who can afford to check themselves in to a rehab place (recovery WITH room service). Those of us who don't have that luxury will continue to live our lives (half measures are better than no measures at all) with the knowledge too that we don't need to spend thousands on buying that safe but oh so artificial place known as the rehab center. If you job is paying--kudos to you. But please oh please don't come out telling me of all the new friends and love you've found. Darling, your job is paying for it! It's called the Recovery Bubble. Of course you're gonna have room service. We of the more stalwart working class wear our wounds, our addictions and our cracks--all the better for our light to shine through. Get it while you can. Come for a massage Mr. Jay. You will love it. And you will love yourself even more for showing up.
*Note I typed as I went along--any typos, let me know. All you anonymous subscribers you! : ).
ciao
Saintorr
nycmasseur NYC 12-25-24
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