8-25-23

I feel like strange and powerful things are happening to draw me out of massage work. The hate callers, the fakes—I have forgotten that working after 10:30 PM is now dangerous.

Thank God thank God for Marcy; a safe haven (though tre thin ice at $20 an hour!)

The steps say "Fear of economic insecurity will leave us"...I wish I could believe that!

And this Rentmasseur thing–the stress is unreal...I have but to accept it...also am I already getting a Mastercard via Wamart???!!!! So damn much drama...I am so ready for acu come tomorrow.

I need to get an Asian massage too...damn it! God the world is hateful. How could the sex with T be so damn easy???!!!! Age has ravaged parts of his body but he's still so hot it's crazy. And gosh the touch....the 30 and even the 40 y.o.'s are enticing but I'm over them. So over them...

A power greater than me...something is doing for me what I could not do for myself....

Praying for wisdom and discernment; it’s so hard to get to...that meeting yesterday was a real booster I really need to do fellowship after...though it’s scary...

I think I drink partly out of boredom...