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Farewell My Concubine Check in 11-5-23

Just watching this film the past 2 days I am mesmerized by its beauty. I even went to the "Travel to China" site. LOL. When I saw Chinese Opera in Taiwan in 1975. it inspired me to take up dance at the University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee. To see actors move the way they did in Chinese Opera, to me that was the original tap root of theater. A short time later (1980) I found myself (a victim of innovation) studying with a Jew in the basement of a hell hole in Washington Heights. We were practicing "Primal Theater" (or was it just the ego - whim of Franklin Wepner, our leader?) whom I learned later became a Rabbi. You see I was always entranced by Grotowski who advocated "Primal Theater" which basically was a descendant of Jean Genet's Theater of Cruelty. Grotowski to me was less superficial and more real than Stanislavski(Genet, also was very queer-prison-based when it came to performance/film, etc. which always appealed to me). Wepner was trying to "instill" in myself and one other woman the Grotowski "Method." (Once he stuck a big, live, waterbug on my chest while I was lying on my back talking about my feelings; he didn't thing I was being "real" enough LOL. The Grotowski method I believe, now looking back is too chaotic for a capitilistic system to survive in. That "movement" was a by-product of the 60's. In New York now (2023), society has basically been taken over by a Social Media and cell phone non-existence that negates anything real or anything of historical value. "Celebrity rules" seems to be the only soundbyte that matters. I could be too jaded living in the East Village for this long of course and being both poor and queer (I am an anachronism) The social media landscape I inherently reject. And as a senior, so much of my life now is a simple focus on survival. And the utter enjoyment of men...(within my massage practice of course dahhhling LOL). I took a few workshops in "the science and art of Clown" but it led to a dead end (and self-injury). I had hoped to "evolve" my life into a kind of performance art "Magnum Opus" but alas the motivation is gone. I quite happy writing poetry and producing songs... Hmmm, not looking very prolific am I? I can't get into the promotion thing. That's OK. Here is my novel. Thank you for visiting! It's funny how even good friends don't have the time to read anything I write. And as I age, the friends you thought were good, turn out to be fakes. OK. No worries. My recovery is more important that being a so-called social media whore (or otherwise) success. I'm not Oprah. Fuck her. I'm me. Yay~Gotta renew SNAP. LET'S GET REAL HERE WITH OUR PRIORITIES LOL. Thank you so very much rich client "T" (with muscles ow la la) in a shiny glass tower late at night last Wed. $300 bucks later. (Gee, I wish your a-hole didn't smell so though LOL). And that you client A today for $100 and my dazzling, 90-year-old client "M" who is teaching me Debussy, Chopin, Bach and Brahms. There can be a heaven on earth. But you must work HARD to attain it. And part of that karma is being kind to your elders. Men provide much-needed dopamine. : ). Breeders are everywhere. Beware of crazy bikers. The streets are lethal... I do not care if you like or dislike this post. And fuck you for telling me to keep it short. This is my life. LOL.

Lord have mercy on us all.

Love and Gracias St.Orr nycmasseur 11-5-23

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