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shadow and gold 4-10-24
The Shadow along with the Gold
So tonight I was telling a friend I don't think I've ever this weird vibe where I run into people, and that might be capable of anything (bad). Being played. Being victimized and the cold-heartedness of the cunt stomping down 6 Street in her high hells boots like NAZI.
Went to the Bath House Flatiron last Wed and it was a bit of a sanctuary but still (breeders and twats) talk so loud. I am older, I treasure silence and have no desire to listen to your pollution as you excrete your convos into the air on your toy phones. There...now to the blog entry from a year ago. Forgive me--I (like every Nu Yawkr I'm sure) am not in a good headspace with this weather. Cabin fever hangs over me like a cloud; though I'm so grateful to have re-discovered the peace and power of yoga. Yes, pumping your tits up feels good but it's merely a cosmetic distraction--yet they say muscle training is good LOL.
Confessions 4-10-24 (reprinted from last year)
Ten days from tax time and I find myself updating my "About Me" text on Masseurfinder and reflecting on my vast and varied career as one who touches people for a living.
When I reflect between the lines of my life as a masseur (aka massage therapist, healing 'ho, practitioner, M4M bodyworker, and part-time songwriter) my feelings vary as much as the work I have done and continue to do. I love working on men and sometimes women. Massage is the greatest gift a person could give another. Wealth pales, youth fades, six-packs come and go, while health remains the one constant in our all lives. Massage nurtures health. It can alleviate pain and provide comfort to the world-weary and sometimes to those simply seeking a good time. I weary of all the labels and of the insistence of our society to constantly segregate therapy from healing from pleasure. Massage is such a marvelous art and skill that it can be all things! It is amazing how, with touch-in all its totality and wonder-we are so obsessed with labeling it and classifying it. Often, while completely missing the point and the point being what a wonder hands can be-whether healing, comforting or giving and receiving pleasure. Wow. I wish words could convey all the different aspects of the meaning of massage with no judgments. It can't, And let's get real, you can't TALK about massage, you have to experience it to really get it. That's probably the biggest reason why words can't describe the somatic (of the body) experience of touch and also why massage so easy slips into the cliches of "service" "therapy" or sex-work. Massage is and can be all of these things. Who am I to judge the relief healing hands can bring to a person in pain, OR to a person who is lonely, isolated or, yes, broken-hearted, recovering from grief or the pain (yes pain) of sexual anorexia? Who am I to day to say "It's all good" but oops, I'm gonna say it folks, as long as you do not harm--yes! It's all good.
Interesting that I say this as just last night I was a potential victim in a violent street incident involving a car-load of young, white guys (probably from Long Island or New Jersey). It didn't go beyond a few seconds of my being uncomfortable but it did happen. I had to re-evaluate how I dress and conduct myself. It's so easy to forget that living in the East Village can indeed feel so free, we take our freedom for granted (to each his own in mini-NYU 'hood) while other neighborhoods (only minutes away) are rife with their proprietary bigotry, hate and fear. Quite a wake-up call.
As was the call from some fellow claiming to be from the Bronx (646-701-8314) shortly afterward, around 11:30 PM insisting on talking (not texting) and giving every indication that he was playing a joke and (laughing) among friends (you could hear the background laughter). This kind of homophobic prank is not new to me and again a sign, a warning that I (and all M4M bodyworkers) must constantly exercise caution and vigilance with all client inquiries for massage. Again, most men are angels but there is always that one possible terrorist and that's really all it takes to remind us that we do not live in a safe world and that shit can and will happen at any time—very conscious shit. So the lesson here is always be mindful.
Interestingly this call was followed not 30 minutes later by a text from (516-754-0893) saying "I'm 15 and need my gluts massaged." I'm grateful this caller was so outrageous as to clearly indicate another prank call. That was easy-peesy. The danger is the callers who hide it well. Needless to say both callers were blocked using the phone app “CallApp.” Which by the way I’ve also used successfully lately to block my current stalker (a very frustrated and confused Latino Man) who was client for years and who has transitioned into being a a stalker.
Again the lesson, when doing M4M massage always, always, always be vigilant, never let your guard down.
I'm so grateful for these latest experiences as I have just rejoined ABMP and re-instated my malpractice insurance. One cannot allow oneself to be vulnerable in this business. ESPECIALLY NOW when the city is more violent, dirtier and more hard and unforgiving that ever, ever before. I liken this current Adams political climate to the days of Mayor Dinkins and that's pretty damn scary for me as a queer-bi senior/elder. Why? Because there seems to be a continuing diminishing quality of life which seems a symptom of having both of these men as mayors. I was Gay-bashed back in '93 and it wasn't pretty. Took me years to recover and it was just a symptom of the lawlessness that reigned during that time and the "Get outta Dodge" syndrome that currently rules the current urban NYC environment. See my link here for my gay-bashing share.
Gee. I was more hot then ha ha. I am in awe when men say to me "I can't believe people would do that--" My tried and true response--"what's not to believe? Hitler existed--and still exists today in the black hearts of some and in any body where cruelty and the urge to do evil exist.
(end of historical blog)...below is update...
The urge to be abusive and unkind as one operates in business (see Ari the agent at WME talk down re: Justin Baldoni "Bologna") just stinks. The transparent shamelessness of biggies in power (whether it be WME Agents or sleazy landlords) when it comes to following the money and disregarding ethics or morals or right or wrongness along with that fake, phony rush to judgement in favor of the highest income player is so nauseating that it makes the roster on Rentmasseur look like ROMPER ROOM! Ari--you are the biggest of the a-hole dicks. If MF addressed me that way; I would bitch slap his abusive kisser big time---Hollywood, you are not sacred. We are all artists, trying to make beauty. It's tragic when people get greedy and forget their boundaries (Snake Lively take note). We all deserve respect. Justice for Justin!
Steve Orr, LMT
212-777-7199
Massage
Check out "saint_orr" on Mixcloud
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