2nd Day No Beer, (Searching for my own lost six-pack)
Confession; my motivation (again) for trying on the "Sober suit" (no alcohol day count) is simply this. I would very much like to see some kind of a six-pack underneath my flabby (mini) beer belly. Although I like a little meat on a man's body (cut and ripped are fine but nothing quite as hot to me as a bit of sensual fat here and there) hence my going "Ga ga" for big, beefy men...
But when I turn this introspection onto my own physical self, I'm just curious to see what changes happen in my own belly if i stop the beer. So there it is, it ain't God, not even sure it's Higher Power; just a simple desire to see my own abs...Day 2...going to try for 30 days. I have doubts that I can do that.
During morning coffee I tried to pray but it kinda came out like a squeak! Then as I sat down to my soft-boiled egg and sourdough toast I reflected on feelings of gratitude (this after I went to pet the cat and she offered to bite me but missed). I fired back with a snapping towel and made her move her ass off the chair...little b i t c h : )...Sometimes I respect her wanting to be alone and sometimes I need love. Me.
So here we are, Aug. 5. Time for the roof, sun, a little top up and then the bike up to the ancient one for 4 hours of $21.10 an hour care-giving.
Living the dream...
While watching the Olympics yesterday (my favs, the bears doing the shot put (Crouser, almost sounds like Cruiser LOL) & Beach Volleyball with Cheng and Hughs (love those two dykes). I tried to explain to my 91 year old client the difference between a bear and an otter. "Oh and I'm a hot Daddy, but the gays are so ageist when you're beyond 40's (prime age in the Eagle community) you are quickly ignored unless you infer to all that you're a sugar daddy (and everyone knows what that is). Ms. Marcy struggled to understand what "ageist" meant. "Ancient?" she said. "No, that's you dear." An hour later we both had a coughing fit. Her from her chronically dry throat; me from my delicious chicken salad from Foodtown up on 124th Street and Amsterdam (gotta be the best I have ever tasted in my life.
I tried to explain further in the midst of our mutual coughing fits; "I'm not a sugar daddy. I guess you'd call me a Hot Poor Daddy; a working-class, college educated "smart/creative/artist" daddy (?)." It's all a house of cards caving in and the first strong exhalation. The bike commute to 120th and Morningside Drive wears me the fuck out. But I LOVE the silence and lush vegetation of Morningside Drive. Truly makes downtown seem like one over-crowded lab rat cage. Children on their phones. Women making an effort I guess wearing their yoga one-piece outfits or carrying their yoga mats while on their phones.
Maybe God IS gratitude and all else is bullshit...maybe that's what Satan is, resentment. After all, that's why he got thrown out of heaven. He was outraged that Mary chose her as his "right hand man"--a mere mortal--over him. I get it.
I just thought of a good writing exercise. If you were Satan and you were making out a grateful list...what would it be. Wow...classic.
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