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Writer's pictureSteven Orr

It's Humility--NOT Humiliation...6-14-23

Service (and more)


"Humility comes from God and is a sibling of

anonymity, a foundational principle of the Twelve

Steps and the Twelve Traditions. Through

anonymity, we practice service with love." BRB p.

223

In our families, humility and humiliation often got

confused and led us to either become very

passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive. In

working the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,

we are given a different definition of humility. In

ACA, humility is about being the one we were

supposed to be before our families infected us

with their dysfunction and before we recycled that

dysfunction in our own lives. It is about being our

True Selves.

Anonymity is naturally confused with our

alcoholic/ dysfunctional family's desire to keep

secrets. The difference is that in ACA, we don't

share what others say or tell who was at our

meetings as a way of giving security to each other.

Knowing this allows us to feel safe to share our

own story. When we are tempted to judge, ridicule,

or speak of someone else, we are reminded that

through the practice of protecting the anonymity

and confidences of our fellow ACAs, we now have

a higher purpose, a healthy limit that gives life

rather than diminishes it.


The possibility of performing service in ACA flows

powerfully from our understanding of these

principles in our lives. The newcomer feels it, the






old-timer appreciates it, and our Higher Power

loves it.

On this day, love for my fellow ACAs, humility, and

anonymity will provide me with a positive motivation

for the service I may choose to give to ACA.

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